- Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.
- What happened?
- Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
- We're sending a squad up.
- Uh, uh... negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
- Who is this? What's your operating number?
- Uh...
[shoots the intercom]
- Boring conversation, anyway.

Cough. Look over here.
I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

I think it's Anchorman, but i thought that film sucked, so I'm not sure.

A wizard is never late, *name removed*. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

- There. You finally look like a human being again. You shouldn't wait so long between hair cuts, you cheap son of a bitch.
- Yeah. I'm surprised you're still around. I was always hoping you'd die off and they got someone in here that knew what the hell they were doing. Instead, you're just hanging around like the doo-wop dago you are.
- That'll be ten bucks, *name removed*.
- Ten bucks? Jesus Christ, *name removed*. What are you, half Jew or somethin'? You keep raising the damn prices all the time.
- It's been ten bucks for the last five years, you hard-nosed Polack son of a bitch.
- Yeah, well keep the change.
- See you in three weeks, prick.
- Not if I see you first, dipshit.

1- I'm sorry, did you just say you needed my brain?
2- Yes, to complete the program.
1- Well, you can't have it, I'm using it!
2- Hardly.
1- Cheeky mouse...

Hey laser lips, your momma was a snowblower.

Aww, but she could be so hot if she wanted to. She's like all these babes, you get their pilot lit, they could suck start a leafblower. And she's got the most incredible body too and a pair of titties that make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk. Ass like a ten year old boy! AHAHAHAHA

Patriotism is the virtue of the wicked, according to Oscar Wilde.

Thank you for proving my point.

Person #1: That's my pen. That's definitely my book.
Person #2: Well taking your book is not a serious injury!
Person #1: Serious injury book is a red book, that book is blue.
Person #1: Well forgive me, I've lost my secret decoder ring!